Tag: inspiration

Function From Love and Watch Life Love You Back
Have you ever noticed when something really good happens to you or you’re in a really good mood, other things in your life seems to effortlessly fall into place? People say and do things and events play out in ways that boost you up even more? Conversely, have you noticed that when you’re in a bad mood or one unpleasantly jarring thing happens, other things in your life begin to spiral downward as well?

That seems to be the case more often than not, in my experience. I don’t believe it’s a coincidence and here’s why:

Everything is energy

“Concerning matter, we have been all wrong. What we have called matter is energy, whose vibration has been so lowered as to be perceptible to the senses. There is no matter.”

— Albert Einstein

Einstein believed everything is energy. In addition, he’s saying there are different frequency levels things vibrate at (think radio waves). Things we perceive as physical are vibrating at a lower frequency; things we can’t perceive at a higher one. Since humans are a part of the universe, that means we too are made up of energy. I believe we are vibrating at different frequency levels as well, depending on our level of consciousness (which can change).

This explains why some people ‘just click’ when they first meet, why some close relationships seem to grow apart for no reason, why we enjoy a particular kind of music (different music = different vibration frequency), why that can change depending on our mood, why some people can sense energies that others can’t, and a whole lot more.

Our energy affects our environment and other people.

It seems the whole universe is one big cosmic energy interaction that has a kind of order and purpose that we could study for a lifetime and still not completely wrap our heads around. I’ve heard the idea that our energy affects everything else from several other sources as well, and it would make sense if everything is connected.

Scientific sources have also stated that we can affect things consciously. One example is Dr. Masaru Emoto, author of New York Times best seller The Hidden Messages in Water, who studied the effects of human intention on water crystals. He claimed that positive thought, prayer, music, and written words created symmetrical, aesthetically pleasing crystals when the water was frozen, and negative words and thoughts created distorted, ugly crystals.

We are not a victim of our life; we are the creator of it.

The Celestine Prophecy, a spiritual adventure story (one of my all-time favorite spiritual growth books which I reference in other articles), talks about this concept as well.

“…the basic stuff of the universe, at its core, is looking like a kind of pure energy that is malleable to human intention and expectation in a way that defies our old mechanistic model of the universe–as though our expectation itself causes our energy to flow out into the world and affect other energy systems.”

— James Redfield, The Celestine Prophecy

You may have heard of the law of attraction: the idea that we can consciously create our reality from our intentions and beliefs. Whatever level of vibration we are functioning from will attract things in life to us which are of the same vibration. I think the law of attraction is misunderstood and over-simplified sometimes, but as long as we focus on raising our energy level with honest and pure intentions, I believe it will benefit us and everyone around us.

But there’s another more physical way we create our reality I don’t think is often talked about. We make thousands of decisions every day on how we do everything: our word choice and tone of voice we use while speaking to others, how we drive, how we move and carry ourselves, whether or not we decide to say hi to our neighbor, whether or not we run that errand, whether or not we eat that cookie, and on and on. (This is my husband’s theory, and it’s pretty awesome.)

Whatever our strongest, most persistent beliefs are about ourselves and the world, will literally create that reality for us through our actions.

For a lot of people, these daily behaviors are mostly unconscious; not true for people who have developed self-awareness. But all of these actions are a reflection of our state of mind and vibration level. If we want to change it we can work from the outside in – by conducting ourselves consciously in the way we would if we were at the level we wanted to be.

How do we raise our energy level?

To raise our energy to the level where life loves us back, I believe the answer is by getting into a state of consciousness where love, appreciation, joy, or faith fills us up and leaves no room for the fear and insecurity of the mind.

Here are 11 simple strategies to get you started:
1. Meditate. People have been meditating for centuries. There are many different ways to do it, but the purpose is always to bring your awareness out of your head and realign with your true self.
2. Recall a memory that evokes an emotion like love, safety, or gratitude, or use your imagination to generate the feeling.
3. Go somewhere with beauty, like nature, to bring your awareness to the present and good emotions.
4. Focus on your breathing. It can calm your mind and bring you back to the present.
5. Engage in thought-provoking/inspiring conversation with someone.
6. Exercise.
7. Do something to make someone else smile.
8. Let go of your worries and trust that everything will work out. Trust in whatever you trust in, that everything will be okay (I know, it’s harder than it sounds). Everything is as it’s meant to be.
9. Spend time with your favorite pets (animals naturally vibrate at a higher frequency than most humans).
10. Do something you love to do.
11. If you have nagging thoughts about an unresolved issue that are making it hard to be present, do one thing toward resolving it.
If you’re having trouble raising your energy level due to stubborn, dis-empowering and dejecting belief systems, try this. I say this in almost every one of my articles: You have to become aware of the thing you want to change before you can change it. Practice observing your thoughts, emotions, what you say when talking to others, and how you behave. Once you’ve gotten insight into your belief systems, question the belief’s validity. Is (this) belief I have about (that) even true?

“Questioning illusions is the first step in undoing them.”
– A Course in Miracles

Once you start consciously being able to raise your energy level you may find more people attracted to you, drawn like moths to a light. (If you have an issue with that you can set boundaries. You’re in charge of your life.) People will sense your change on an intuitive level and want to be around you more. They will also be lifted by your energy. They will feel happier, more inspired, think clearer, and be more creative. You’ll naturally bring out the best in others while you bring out the best in yourself – a win-win!

Summary

Everything in the universe is energy, and vibrating at different frequency levels, including us. Everything is connected. Not only does our energy affect everything else but we can consciously put our intentions out into the world and life will reflect them back to us. Another underrated way we create our reality is by every action we take and every word we say. How we conduct ourselves is a reflection of our state of mind/frequency level, and if we want to change that we can conduct ourselves consciously. When we raise our energy level we bring out the best in ourselves, in everyone around us, and we begin to see that life is happening for us, not against us.

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May 21, 2019
The Truth Can Suck. But it’s the Secret to Changing Your Life

By Mandie

Personal growth is not a walk in the park. If anyone tells you otherwise, they’re lying.

Do you really want to change your life? Then you’ve got to get real, you’ve got to get honest, and you’ve got to be willing to stick it out when things get ugly. There will be times you’ll want to quit. But if you keep going, it’s more than worth it. Because if you change yourself, you change your life.

This summer my husband and I and a couple friends were at a Lindsey Sterling concert (she’s an amazingly talented/creative violinist and dancer). In between songs she gave an inspiring speech about her personal growth and overcoming depression.

She said she used to be depressed, and someone told her once that she was choosing to be. She felt upset about it, understandably, but she said she realized that this person was right. She began working on herself and faced some tough truths. She said it took a lot of work, but eventually she succeeded at turning her mindset and her life around.

“The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.”
– Joe Klass, Twelve Steps to Happiness

My husband and I have talked a lot about the concept of looking in the mirror and taking responsibility for our happiness, and he helped me through some mentally shitty places. When I heard Lindsey speak I wanted to write about it.

What I’ve learned is that…

1. In order to change any mental or behavioral habits, you have to first look in the mirror and be honest with yourself.

I had to ask myself questions like, am I doing things that are sabotaging my growth or success? Am I doing or not doing things that are holding me back? Am I making excuses for my behavior or attitude? Am I blaming other people for it? What thoughts am I thinking that are making me feel this way?

I’m not necessarily talking about people who are clinically depressed or suicidal. I’m not saying, hey, you can just change your mindset if you try. Some people have more things working against them. Like a chemical imbalance or a gut flora problem affecting their brain for example, or some other cause, which can make changing their mood or perspective way harder.

But we can all still take responsibility for seeking out answers and taking steps toward making changes.

2. Justifications and excuses get us nowhere.

We humans are great at bullshitting ourselves. We make up all kinds of justifications for why we’re doing what we’re doing so we can still feel good about ourselves. But if we want change, we must take responsibility for our behavior and attitude.

3. We must try not to get down on ourselves when we see things we don’t like.

It can be extremely hard to face up to our faults, and equally hard not to let self-awareness crush our self-esteem. I had to be reminded many times that the purpose of looking in the mirror is to grow, not beat myself up over what I don’t like.

4. It’s easy when it’s easy.

All of your worst traits will be most prone to showing up when we’re hurt, scared, angry, upset in some way, or not feeling good.

To paraphrase my husband:

It’s easy to be the best version of you when things are going great. The challenge lies in being true to who you want to be when things are tough.

5. We need to be patient with ourselves.

It can feel like change takes forever. But looking back, it seems like the struggle and growth I went through happened so fast. I wasted so much time being upset about where I was at – that I wasn’t living at some ridiculously high standard I set for myself. Try to remember to be patient with yourself!

Sometimes it will also feel like you’re going backwards in your growth, but in the big picture you’re not. Remember the ups and downs are part of your journey, and a setback doesn’t mean you’re going backward overall.

Summary

If you want to change patterns that are holding you back, the truth will be the key to your transformation and success – and it will also piss you off. You must be willing to look in the mirror and admit the tough truths about yourself, stop making excuses and take responsibility for your happiness, try not to get down on yourself, be aware that your worst side shows up when you’re not feeling up to par, and be patient about change.

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April 29, 2019
How to Stop Limiting Your Potential: 3 Eye-Opening Insights That Can Change Your Life

By Mandie

Have you ever seen one of those videos on social media showing how you’ve been using certain products, or eating certain foods, wrong your whole life? And you say to yourself, “Wow! I never thought of doing it that way!” That’s a little like how I felt when my personal growth mentor (and future husband) gave me some insights on the life challenges I was struggling to resolve when we were first dating.

These insights turned my whole world upside down! I couldn’t unlearn what I had learned, so I had to change my old ways of functioning if I wanted to move forward. It was hard, but it was worth it.

Here are the 3 life changing insights I learned that can change your life:

1. If what you think, what you do, and what you say don’t line up, it can hurt your self-esteem and your credibility.

I said and did things that represented the person I wanted to be on the outside, while I hid the things I wasn’t proud of and lied just to keep on people’s good sides. My mentor figured this dishonest behavior probably was connected to the low self-esteem I struggled with (which affected everything in my life), and he was right!

Besides hurting how I felt about myself, he pointed out, I could lose my friends’ or family’s trust the second anyone found out I wasn’t being genuine. He said if you want people to be able to count on you, you need to actually be the person you present yourself to be.

I practiced paying attention and catching myself every time I was being dishonest. It can take a lot of work, but if you get your values/beliefs, words, and actions in alignment, the person people see is the person that you are. Some will like it and others will hate it, but those who stick with you are the ones who appreciate, respect, and admire you for who you are not for the image of yourself you present.

You will feel better about who you are, your relationships will benefit because people will trust you, and your word will actually mean something.

“Hiding how you really feel and trying to make everyone else happy doesn’t make you nice, it just makes you a liar.” 
Jenny O’Connell

2. What you believe about yourself dictates what you choose to say; but what you choose to say also dictates what you believe about yourself.

Another way I was unknowingly limiting myself was through my language. It seems like common sense that what you say aloud reflects what you believe, but what surprised me was that you can also reprogram your beliefs with what you chose to say.

Say “I need this” enough times when the truth is you want it, and you will begin to believe that you need it. Limiting words are things like can’t, always, never, and need. Non-limiting words/phrases are things like seems like, feels like, and right now.

For example, the statement “I can’t handle my life – it’s too hectic” makes you feel hopeless and disempowered, versus “I’m struggling to handle my life right now,” which reminds you that what you’re going through is temporary, and there’s hope for change in the future. The truth isn’t that you “can’t do it,” the truth is that you’re having a hard time “right now.

Whether you use limiting words/phrases about your abilities aloud or to yourself, you’re teaching your mind what to believe. Instead of using limiting words and phrases that aren’t true, try switching to more accurate and encouraging ones. Such as seems like, feels like, or right now.

3. You don’t need to control how you feel – you need to control how you act.

Trying to control your emotions is like trying to control waves in the ocean, you just can’t do it. And to make things worse, the harder you try the more frustrated you get – adding to your emotional overload. It wastes a ton of energy and gets you nowhere.

Instead, try to let your feelings be; realize that they will pass and focus on what you can control – what you say and how you act. You can feel angry but still talk calmly with the person you’re angry with. You can feel hurt but not treat the person you feel hurt by coldly or rudely.

Not being aware of the separation between feelings and actions can get you into a ton of trouble. I used to believe that if my feelings were strong enough I couldn’t help but act on them. Absolutely not true! This got me into trouble bigtime when I was younger.

I therefore believed that in order to act how I wanted I had to control how I felt. Learning that this too was complete B.S. changed my life. I no longer felt I had to put energy into doing something that was impossible.

“Heroes and cowards feel exactly the same  fear. Heroes just react to it differently.” 
Cus D’Amato

Wondering how to put these insights into action?

Start by growing your self awareness – this is the beginning of all growth. If you pay attention to yourself, you can align your values, words, and actions for a better relationship with yourself and with others, help make your mind work for you instead of against you, and handle overwhelming emotions without doing things you’ll regret later.

What insights have you learned that helped you see the world and/or yourself in a new and positive light? Let me know in the comments!

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(Also published on Addicted2Success.com. Image credit: Twenty20.com)

April 29, 2019
5 Happiness Blocking Lies You May Be Believing

by Mandie

Happiness…You want it. I want it. We all want it. But how many of us truly know how to attain it? The search for happiness motivates people from all walks of life to do all kinds of things – quit a job, change spouses, move, have a family, buy a new car, or start a new hobby. In contrast, the belief that happiness cannot be attained motivates people to take measures as extreme as committing suicide.

Some of us are fortunate enough to discover truths about what brings happiness, but many of us are living out our lives with false ideas about happiness stuck in our brains and we never stop to examine whether or not these are true.

The First Lie: Wanting happiness is selfish

The first misconception that gets in the way of being happy is the belief that wanting happiness is selfish. Some of us think we don’t deserve to be happy. We think that putting others above ourselves at the cost of our own needs will make us happy and better people.

But this is backward! If we are not fulfilling our own happiness, how can we have the energy to share happiness with others?

The Dalai Lama, arguably one of the top experts on happiness in the world, agrees in his book, The Art of Happiness:

“…survey after survey has shown that it is unhappy people who tend to be most self-focused and are often socially withdrawn, brooding, and even antagonistic. Happy people, in contrast, are generally found to be more sociable, flexible, and creative and are able to tolerate life’s daily frustrations more easily than unhappy people. And, most important, they are found to be more loving and forgiving than unhappy people.”

The more we allow ourselves to be happy, the more happiness we can share with others.

The Second Lie: Happiness comes from things outside of us

If you believe that events, situations, other people, and objects cause your happiness (or lack of it) then your life will be stressful! You will try to control things and people in your life so that you will be happy.

The problem with this approach may be obvious: you can’t control things and people in your life, at least not one-hundred percent of the time. And because you can’t succeed, you’ll live in fear of what bad thing is going to happen next, of how others are going to treat you, and of your own emotions.

What does cause happiness then? The root cause of emotion is arguably our thoughts. Try thinking about something that makes you happy, and not feeling happy. Can you do it? Neither can I. It is equally impossible to think about something that you dread and not feel miserable. The Dalai Lama put it this way, “happiness is determined more by one’s state of mind than by external events.”

Abraham Lincoln may have been wiser than even he gave himself credit for. He understood this idea as well, as this famous quote illustrates:

“We can complain that rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.”

He also stated that,

“Folks are usually about as happy as they make their minds up to be.”

Who knew that the Dalai Lama and Abraham Lincoln shared the same philosophy?

You get to choose how you see the world. That doesn’t just go for rose bushes; it goes for events, situations, people, or anything you encounter in life.

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”
– Viktor E. Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning

The Third Lie: Our happiness is not our responsibility

Because you now know that the way you think about things creates your happiness, taking responsibility for your happiness is essential. If you don’t, you’re right back where you started — waiting for, hoping for, and attempting to control everything outside yourself to make you happy. It’s like flushing your winning lottery ticket down the toilet. No longer is it totally accurate for you to say, “You made me mad” to your loved one. They may have made it easy for you to be mad, but it was your perception that ultimately caused your emotion. That is taking responsibility for your happiness.

The Fourth Lie: We are our minds

Another misconception that blocks our happiness is thinking that our thoughts, beliefs, and ideas along with our bodies are all that we are. We are more than our minds and bodies. We have a soul, a spirit, a higher-self, a consciousness, whatever you like to call it. You can confirm its existence by asking yourself one question:

If I am but a body and mind, yet I can observe my mind…who then, is doing the observing?

Without the awareness of this separation we can allow ourselves to become victims of our minds. Our minds play games with us and sabotage us: I’m incompetent…I’m so ugly…I’m an idiot…I’m never good enough! Sound familiar? In contrast, the part of us that is separate from our minds is loving, trusting, inspiring, wise, and confident. If we have no awareness that the lies our mind tells us are separate from our true selves, we can get sucked into believing the lies.

The Fifth Lie: It doesn’t hurt us to live incongruently

Many people don’t realize that 1) They are living incongruently, and 2) That living congruently matters. What I mean by living “congruently” is living where what you value, what you say, and how you act match up. When these things don’t match up, you can struggle with self-worth issues.

It’s hard to be happy when you don’t feel good about yourself. Deep down, a part of us seems to know when we’re not being true to ourselves. But if you change your words and actions to match your values, you give your old beliefs no ground to stand on.

Summary

If you want happiness, start by ditching these false beliefs. Remind yourself that 1) wanting happiness isn’t selfish because you can spread more good in the world when you’re happy. 2) Don’t be a victim by believing that the world outside you dictates your inner state; take back your power by knowing that your perception dictates your inner state. 3) Treat your power with responsibility. That may mean you try to stop blaming other people and events for your unhappiness. 4) When you hear that voice in your head putting you down and doubting you, remember that you are not your mind. You have a higher spiritual self, that is the real you, and is separate from your fearful mind. And 5) Work on aligning your values, your words, and your actions, and you’ll be well on your way to being the happiest person you know.

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Photo credit: Zohre Nemati on Unsplash

April 26, 2019
6 Books That Showed Me a Path to Enlightenment

By Mandie

I LOVE this book. If you feel stuck or restless in your life, you want to know what your purpose is, or you’re not sure what to believe in and wonder if there’s more to life than your every-day experiences, then this book is for you.

This book is written as an adventure story. The main character travels to Peru on a mission to recover an ancient manuscript that is in danger of being destroyed by the local government. The manuscript is separated into nine pieces, each describing an insight into human spirituality.

The manuscript describes the spiritual awakening of humanity, where this awakening will lead our evolvement as human beings, how we can connect with universal energy and consciously use this connection to advance our personal growth, resolve conflicts in relationships, help others reach their potential, and more.

The wisdom in this book is used by both my husband and I in our every-day lives. The book is a staple in our collection because we’ve both benefitted so much from it.

The slogan of this book is “a book that changes lives” and it’s true! This book is part autobiography and part fiction. The book is set during the author’s college-days, when he was a world-class gymnast succeeding at life yet miserable, angry, and depressed. Dan’s life changes when he meets an old man working as a gas station attendant who becomes his spiritual teacher.

This book explains how we trap ourselves with the illusions of our minds, and as the old man (who goes by Socrates) teaches Dan how to unlearn what he has learned, and learn a new way to be present, at peace, and happy, we follow along and learn too.

This book goes super in-depth about the mind and the illusions our mind fools us into believing. It will blow your socks off. You may want to read a little at a time to let the information fully sink in. My husband refers to this book, along with The Celestine Prophecy, as his bibles.

Applying the information in this book definitely changed my relationships with all the men in my life for the better! This book brings to light a crucial difference in men’s and women’s emotional needs: Men primarily want RESPECT over love, while women primarily want LOVE over respect. The book also explains how to break free of the power struggles couples get stuck in and keep your relationship stable and healthy.

The author found this love and respect principle in the form of a bible verse. He believed that the verse was meant to be taken literally, and its importance had been overlooked. When he started teaching it to the couples he counseled, and saw dramatic changes take place – it even saved marriages. It may sound cheesy, but the love and respect principle proves itself to be true and EXTREMELY valuable. The information is not just valuable for couples either, and can help anyone better understand and communicate with the opposite sex.

According to Time Magazine, Byron Katie is “[a] spiritual innovator for the new millennium.”

In her 30s, Byron Katie was severely depressed, suicidal, and was often unable to leave her bedroom. Then one morning she had a life changing realization:

“I discovered that when I believed my thoughts, I suffered, but that when I didn’t believe them, I didn’t suffer, and that this is true for every human being.”
– Byron Katie, thework.com

The book describes a self inquiry method known as “The Work” designed to help us end mental and emotional suffering. I did not actually read this book, but when I was going through a particularly rough time emotionally, my husband printed out the self-inquiry work sheets for me to do. Now, I already knew about how we shouldn’t believe all the negative shit our mind tells us, and doing “The Work” still blew-my mind!

This helped me feel at peace with myself, and freed up so much of the mental and emotional struggling I was going through. I’d highly recommend it to anyone, particularly if you struggle with guilt, anxiety, fear, worry, and anger.

This book changed my life because it describes two different types of mindsets people have, which determines if we are more apt to struggle or succeed in school, work, sports, or anything else we do in life.

The two mindsets are about how we view ourselves and our abilities. A person with a Growth Mindset believes that their skills and abilities aren’t set in stone; that they can improve anything if they work at it. They tend to use negative experiences to learn, grow, and become successful. A person with a Fixed Mindset believes their skills and abilities are set in stone. This results in them feeling like their skills and abilities determine their value as a person, so when they fail to meet performance expectations they’re too busy feeling worthless to be able to think about how they can learn from the experience.

I realized that I tend to have a fixed mindset and that’s why I struggle so much when I fail to live up to my (high) performance standards. This book helped me understand myself better, get past my setbacks faster, and learn from my experiences. If you want to succeed at anything in life and stop feeling shitty about yourself, get this book!

Parent Effectiveness Training is full of techniques on how to listen better, how to talk so that your kids will listen, and how to solve problems. It also has diagrams that I found helpful for understanding the concepts.

Although I was not a parent when I read this at about age 19, I got SO much value and practical, usable information from this book! It changed my life by changing how I viewed relationships and communication and by giving me the tools I needed to help make my relationships thrive.

The stuff works! I started communicating differently in my relationships and with the kids I babysat and there was less misunderstanding, less power struggles, and more happiness. I still use the methods today to talk with or resolve conflicts with my husband or anyone else in my life.

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April 26, 2019

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