There are no “prefect” relationships. Relationships have conflicts. Whether it’s parent-child, friends, or partners. Conflicts give us opportunities to learn important lessons and ultimately help us learn how to love and be loved.
We might as well get rid of the idea that conflicts “shouldn’t” happen.
What we need, then, is to find a way to handle them.
Conflicts don’t HAVE to drive you further apart. They don’t HAVE to wear at your relationship.
So how do you handle conflicts? Here are the four most important things I have found to keep in mind:
- Communicate your needs. If you blame or try to manipulate the other person they will get defensive and you won’t get anywhere. You have to get in touch with what you want and what you feel.
- Speak to the other person’s needs. Try to put yourself in their position, even if you don’t agree. At least be willing to try to see where they’re coming from. Then communicate that to them. They will feel respected, and will be much more likely to respect your point of view.
- When you need to come to a mutual decision about something, be creative and open to other options. Sometimes there is a brilliant solution just sitting there, waiting for you to broaden your vision.
- Make sure one person isn’t always giving in while the other gets their way. Although it might seem to work well for a while, the resentment will build. Try to find a way for you both to win.
